This week, I will be exploring three reasons why I believe this is the right decision and the right time for me to take this time away from the hobby that I enjoy so much. I posted the first reason on Tuesday, as well as the second reason on Thursday. Today I want to talk about the third and final reason.
About a year ago, I was diagnosed with depression. While my case was relatively minor, it appears likely I had been struggling with it for years without any recognition or treatment. I started taking anti-depressants, and the results have been dramatic. Yet I still struggle from time to time. So, in addition to my medication, I have also been exploring what triggers my episodes and how to mitigate those situations.
Unfortunately, playing Magic the Gathering can be a trigger. While I get great enjoyment out of providing a great tournament and resources for Standard Pauper, when my personal gaming is in a rut, it is easy for it to begin to affect me emotionally. And this, in turn, takes its toll on my life, my friends, and my family. I have tried pushing through these episodes while continuing to play, but as of yet this has not been a successful strategy.
I am hopeful that the next few weeks without Magic will help in this area. Already, I can recognize patterns in my gaming that have been unhealthy. At the same time, I already miss a lot of the things I enjoy about the game, and it hasn't even been a full week yet. I sincerely believe that this 40 day period away from Magic will lead to breakthrough. But even if it doesn't, I do know that it will allow me to enjoy Magic the Gathering for a long time to come.
Next week, I will be back to my less personal posts here on my blog. I've got books and games to review, some more writing resources to discuss, and a few other surprises in the queue. And it won't be long before the 40 days will be at an end. I promise I will have lots of great Standard Pauper content forthcoming.
Thanks for reading.
The courage required to make this kind of public disclosure about ones diagnosis is huge. Thank you for sharing this, Gwyned, it is something to keep in mind. Hit me up on Private Message in game or in the clan forums any time you need to vent; I've got a mental diagnosis relating to depression as well and I understand how our hobbies can become triggers for depression (or mania, in my case). I'll keep you in my prayers for the next thirty-something days in hopes that playing MTGO no longer triggers your depression. And thanks again for keeping up with the hosting - sometimes being away from the game can be a depressive trigger, too. Again, thanks for sharing & keep your chin up. Depression tricks us into thinking things are worse than they seem. Just remember we are being watched over from above and things are never as hopeless as they might look :-) Peace,
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Thanks so much for your kind words!
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